Betrothal 过大礼
Guo Da Li, or the betrothal ceremony, is one of the most important events for traditional Chinese weddings. The event usually takes place about one to three weeks before the actual wedding day. On the day of Guo Da Li, families of the bride and the groom exchange bridal gifts to signify their blessings for the wedding couple. It is also a gesture to express sincerity towards the marriage between the two families.
In the olden days, the items to prepare for Guo Da Li can be much elaborated because the value of the betrothal gifts is an indication of the wealth of the groom's family. Nowadays, the list is very much simplified.
As a guide, the basic essentials included the following.
• Betrothal’s money (also known as "Pin Jin" in Chinese) - commonly known as the Bride’s Price (Grooms usually present this amount to thank the bride’s family for taking good care of her from childhood)
• Dragon and phoenix candles ("Long Feng Zhu") x 2pair - These two mythical creatures represents the perfect match of the newly-weds and also to symbolise blissful marital relations
• Red fabric/ spread (“hong bu/ men cai”) x 2 – as door decoration for inform others about this family are going to have happy event. (Groom’s fabric should longer than bride’s. Eg, 9foot9inches & 9foot8 inches or 9 foot)
• Red ball (“xiu qiu”) x 2 - ball shape like Hydrangea. It is a common Chinese folk mascot. Traditionally, it is used to tight on the groom or the bride’s palanquin. Nowadays, it also used as door decoration. It meaning prosperity.
• Couplet (“hun lian”) x2 pair: symbolic wedding Blessings.
• Coconut (“ye zi” ) x 1 Pair : in Chinese words “椰子” euphonize with another chinese words, “爷子” , “爷” is meaning “ father” , while “子” defines as “son”. Therefore, it symbolic the blessing for born a baby.
• 5 color grain/seed (“wu gu”) (Guangdong/ Hakka): represent good harvest. It hopes the family will having good earning in future and they don’t need to worry about victuals.
• 4 Treasure Gift of Hokkien/ Teochew
- Birthday noodle (“shou mian”): is known long noodles symbolize a long life in Chinese tradition
- Jujube/Red dates (“hong zhou”): represents all’s well, everything in the garden is lovely (idiom “yang yang jie hao”).
- Dried Persimmon (“shi zi”): represent good luck
- Melon bar / candy (“dong gua tiao”): sweet as honeybunch
• 9 dried fruit
- Tea & sesame: Seed must be used for tea cultivation. Since the seed is planted, it represents they are ready to put roots down, also implying that once married, they should be trustworthy and loyal.
- Red dates, Peanuts, Dried longan (“Gui Yuan”) & Lotus seeds: pronunciation in Chinese as “Zhao栆”. “Sheng 生”, “Gui 桂”, “Zi子” chime with “早生贵子” which is meaning the hope to born a new baby shortly.
- Lily seed (“bai he”): “he合” implies as good communicate, blessing them live together without argument.
- Dried Persimmon (“shi zi”): represents all’s well & prosperity (idiom “hao jing hao shi”).
- Dried Lychee (“li chi gan”): “chi枝” euphony “idiom 开枝散叶” , represent having a flourishing life.
• Areca fruits x 2: it naturally formed as “1 core 1 fruit”, it represent loyalty. Moreover, the pronunciation of the term, areca nuts, in Chinese is "Bing lan," and the meaning of the word "Bing" in Chinese character is similar with that of guest.
• Wedding candy: meaning sweet nothings & sweet as honey (idioms)
• Wine x2/ Champagne x2/ Beer x 2 dozen: One year twenty-four season well peace
• Roast Pig: “zhu猪” is chime with “zhu珠”, represent the chinese idiom “金银珠宝” which define gold, silver & jewelry For the Hokkiens, pig trotters are usually included.
• Fruits: dominated by orange and apple, but do not use pear, “li 梨”, with the "li 离" which meaning “separate/divorce” are homonyms. Even number of fruits is preferred. Eg, 8, 12, 18. It is because even number is considered auspicious in the Chinese culture.
• Dragon Phoenix biscuits , Western-style biscuit (Even number )
• 3 types of animal husbandry: chicken or goose (2 pairs), two male two female, fish (1 pair) (You can use the "three animal husbandry packets三牧利是" to alternate, instead of give chicken, fish & pork gifts.)
• Dried seafood: Four-style seafood, advanced choices such as abalone, sea cucumber, shark fin, fish maw, dried scallop, etc., but there must be “Fat choy发菜”, commonly known as "hair vegetable", symbolic Fortune.
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Return Gifts
After bride received the gift, she did not accept all of it and return some , because represents the acceptance and blessing to this marriage and blessing to the groom.
Items as following,
Rebate Money(回礼金) : It means that the woman’s family is willing to share it with the man. Both parties have negotiated and paid the hiring money before the big gift. The amount returned is can any number but auspicious number.
Giving (return) Dragon Phoenix candle (1 pair): If both men and women have the hair dressing total prepare 4pairs , 2pairs of 4 should be returned.
Giving (return) red cloth “hong bu” longer one : longer red cloth
Giving (return) red ball (1) symbolize good luck, let the man tie it in the middle of the red cloth and hang it in front of the door.
Giving (return) Coconut(1pair) : in Chinese words “椰子” euphonize with another chinese words, “爷子” , “爷” is meaning “ father” , while “子” defines as “son”. Therefore, it symbolic the blessing for born a baby.
Giving (return) Areca fruits/Betel Nut (1 capsule): Ruyi Langjun, meaning one heart to the end, the newcomer is white-headed and harmonious, and bride only keep one.
Giving (return) Half 9 Dried Foods & (Five Grains/Four Treasure Gifts) Half
* All tea & sesame seeds(Bride keep) are accepted (收芝麻和茶礼) : it implies that the woman accepts the man's tea ceremony and must keep her promise and cannot regret.
Giving (return) Roast pork head, tail and pork knuckles, one half of the pig on the roasting plate, and all the rest.
Prepare lotus root: meaning good lotus root
Prepare pomegranate: meaning hundreds of children and thousands of grandchildren, many children are more blessed
Prepare Ginger “Ding Jiang” & Taro: It means to make a fortune by adding Ding”丁“ and make fortune together.
Although most complete marriage customs preserved, many of them are still simplified. Most of the dowry and return gifts are also replaced by red angpau ( 红利是)
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